An Open Letter Our Brother's Birth Mother

An Open Letter To Our Brother’s Birth Mother

This weeks posts are a little different! My sister and I have been called to share our story for a while. Adoption has become more talked about recently, and we felt like now was the time to share our story. I feel like adoptive families are very prominent when we think of adoption, as are the babies (obviously because babies are adorable ) It always feels like the birth mothers of these children are forgotten about. We feel that celebrating and supporting birth mothers is equally as important as celebrating and supporting adoptive families, and adopted children. Neither of us are Mothers yet, but I have watched many women as they traveled through their pregnancies. Each woman I watch has shown me the strength needed to carry a child. Mothers are the backbone of our society, and we should treat them as such. Anyhoo, Thank You to all Mothers, but this post is a special shoutout to birth mothers. You may never know the impact you have on the child's adoptive family, but I guarantee it is an impact that they could never repay you for.

Roonie's Letter


               I have never met you. I do not know you, but you have influenced me more than most people whose paths will cross mine in this life. I do not know that much about you, just what the adoption agency told my Mom. You were young. I remember being nineteen, and thinking ‘I do not know how my brother’s birth mom did it.’ You gave my family such a gift. You completed our family.

               I was only six when we started the adoption process. Maybe younger, time works differently on a small mind. I remember coming home everyday asking Mom and Dad if we had a new Baby Brother yet. I remember day after day, Mom and Dad had to let us down easily. After what felt like an eternity, we received a call about a little boy going to be born in Texas. My parents planned a trip to go pick up our new little brother. My sister and I begged them to let us come with them, but they arranged for us to stay at a family friend’s while they flew to Houston. Before they left, my Mom received a picture of your little boy, our soon-to-be baby brother. He had chocolate brown skin, and a head covered in tight curls. I squealed in glee and exclaimed “He looks just like me!” My Mom tells me now that she had to choke back the giggles as I compared my olive white skin to the rich color of his.

               My sister and I waited so impatiently for Mom and Dad and our brother to come home. We waited for what felt like an eternity. Eventually we drove to the airport to pick them up. We went out to dinner that night, and I could not take my eyes off the adorable baby boy that we had prayed about for what felt like forever. He was bundled in his blankets. His eyes were the deepest brown, and instantly we fell in love. I remember he could fit in my Dad’s forearm. He had (and still does have) more energy than the entire family combined. He has been dancing since before he could walk and could flirt before then too.

               Even though he was adopted, I never felt that he was any different than my sister. People would ask me if it felt weird or different, and, honestly, it never did. He was the puzzle piece that completed our family. I remember the day we went to court to officially adopt my Brother. I remember standing in the court room watching my parents promise to love and protect him for the rest of his life. He officially was part of our clan. Ever since them, I have doted on my brother as any sister would. I have watched him shed his baby fat and replace it with muscle. I have watched as he participated in every sport known to man, shining in all of them. You made this possible. He has grown into a young man I pray you’d be proud of.

               I am so incredibly grateful for you. You have given my family a gift that nobody else could. I cannot imagine the hardships you went through, or how difficult the decision to give up your baby was. I cannot imagine those late nights or early mornings, or how it felt to be sick, uncomfortable and tired, knowing that you were doing this for another family that you hadn’t even met. It is not lost on me the amazing gift of love that you gave him and our family. For that I will forever be inspired by you. Thank you for your grace, strength and love. I pray that you are doing well. I promise that my family has loved your son as well as you would have. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. You inspire me, and you have given us the greatest gift, and for that we can never repay you.

                              Your Family

Lucia's Letter

An Open Letter to My Brother’s Birth Mother:

I was three when we adopted your baby. One of my earliest memories is discussing what we would name him around our dinner table. When I saw his picture, I did not see him as different from myself. Yes, he was a little African American baby boy, but to me I just saw my brother. Finally, we were headed to the airport to pick him up, my brother entered the car, and he was the cutest baby I ever saw! Unfortunately, he was crying up a storm…I remember my cousin suggesting we sing him a song which just made him cry louder! I could tell he was going to have a big personality.

Know that I never saw him as different. New friends would always whisper to me, “I have to ask…is he adopted?” like it was taboo; like it was some big dirty secret. I always thought it was obvious. I mean race aside, the guy had a six pack when he was six years old! His genetics are obviously completely unrelated to ours, but I also thought it was obvious that he is 100% related to me—my brother. Know I have always been proud that he is a part of our family.

Know that he is a momma’s boy. He tells my mom that she is beautiful every day. When he was little, he set reminders on her phone in secret that would tell her how amazing she is at random times. He gives her his arm when we are walking on icy roads; he opens her car door for her; he hugs her first thing in the morning. When we are in big cities, he sticks by her to “keep her safe.” Know that she adores him and loves him and protects him like any mother should.

Know that he protects my sister and I the same way. He is very hard on our boyfriends. We taught him to respect women and he really took it to heart; he knows that if he wouldn’t want a man treating us some way, then he should never treat a woman that way. His hair is his pride and joy; I swear he spends more time on his hair and outfit than my sister and I combined. He knows that if he kisses one of us on the cheek, he must then kiss the other. Know that we are his biggest fans!

Know that he is the son my dad always wanted. I am daddy’s girl, but he was outnumbered in our house three to one, so we needed another boy! Chris is the athlete that my dad loves to follow. My brother is an amazing soccer player—my dad hates to miss even one game. They constantly are competing to see who has the stronger grip. My dad is the hardest worker and smartest man I know, and he is passing that on to my brother. My dad knows how amazing and successful he can be; know that he pushes him every day to be a great man.

Know that he and I are really close. When he asks for advice I am there to give it always. The first time I got dumped, he hugged me until I stopped crying. He always wants to take pictures together, and he reminds me that I am beautiful. He tries to teach me the newest dance moves (he has natural rhythm…something he surely got from you), but I can never get them right. We team up and sass my sister because we are the hooligans of the family, and she makes it easy. Know that he fits in perfectly with our family because he was the missing piece.

Know that being adopted by a white family did not save him from experiencing racism, and that my family has defended him against any hate or discrimination he has faced. He handled it gracefully, but not without pain. He has taught me that race does not make you different; I feel like because I have him in my family, I can look at people of other cultures, religions, and colors and just see human beings that I could one day love. Know that I fight against racism of every kind because I could not look my brother in the face and tell him I love him if I didn’t.

Know that I am tirelessly Pro-Life. He has taught me that EVERY life in the womb has a place in this world. EVERY unborn baby is wanted. There exists a family out there missing a puzzle piece that can only be filled by each of them. Know that I fight for life because you did, and because I could not look my brother in the face and tell him I love him if I didn’t.

Finally, know that I love you. Without my brother, I would be a totally different person. He has taught me that “family” is not the people who are related to you; it is the people that are there for you always, and that does not exclude you. Thank you so much for carrying him, giving birth to him, and gifting him to us. I know that you could not have done that without loving him as much as we do. I am sure that was miserable and so hard at times. Know that he has always had everything that he has needed, and that he has been given every single opportunity in life; he is currently planning on playing soccer in college.

Know that I am one year older than you were when you gave him to us, and I do not think I have done something even half as lifechanging for someone else as you did for my family at this age. You made my family whole. You gave me my brother who I love and protect endlessly. I will forever be indebted to you, but I do not think there is anything I could do to repay you besides stand by and love my brother throughout his entire life.

Please know that I will do that.

               Your Family

If you are looking for adoption resources, check out American Adoptions for some great articles and information to get the process started! If you are considering adoption, I can tell you that it is one of the most beautiful and humbling things in the world. If you are considering adopting your baby out, please know that we adoptive families adore you and are so thankful for the gift that you have given us!