6 Ways to Reclaim Your Social Life After a Breakup: being single and becoming ready to mingle again

When you are in a relationship, your significant other IS your social life. It can be hard to know what to do after a breakup socially speaking. Now that you are single again, here is how to rock social life on your own and love every minute of it: 


If you have yet to read Week 1, Week 2, and Week 3 of the challenge, check them out first and then come on back to this page!

Sorry for the long break everyone! I had Dead Week, Finals Week, and the holidays to get through. Now, I am back on my tight, blogging schedule for the new year! The past few weeks have been crazy in so many ways. Life after a breakup is rough, but I have really put time into myself and have been genuinely so happy! I rocked my finals and pulled through with some good grades this semester which makes me really proud after the emotional rollercoaster of a breakup I had! I am working as an EMT once a week. Coming home for the holidays has been truly amazing. Nothing refuels me more than being with my family and remembering (1) what I want in a guy and eventual husband and (2) what I want for my own future as an individual.

Another milestone since the last time I wrote is that I went on my first date since my breakup. Remember one of the rules of the challenge is not to jump into another relationship, but I did say to feel free to mingle! I was asked on a date while studying in a coffee shop, so, if someone is brave enough to ask you out, go on a date with them! Just hold off on starting a new relationship until your 7 Weeks of Single are over, and you feel confident and happy as a single person!

It was so strange heading out on a date with someone other than my ex. It did not feel right or natural. I definitely caught myself resenting my ex because I should not be having to do this all over again! However, I went and had a great time! I will not be going on another date with the guy. Not because of anything he did, of course; he was a perfect gentleman! I just wasn’t feeling it! Maybe because I am not ready for a new relationship. I am still trying to figure out how to move on after a breakup. I think that is something I will be discerning for a while. Maybe because he is a great guy, just not MY great guy. I know what I want, and, while he checked a lot of the boxes on paper, I just didn’t feel the spark. It is so important, guys as you start casually dating again to be really picky! We have all learned from our Exs what we want and don’t want. Be choosy. Please, please, please do not just date someone to avoid being lonely! Being with someone that you know you do not want to be with forever will make you WAY more lonely! Also, in my experience, feeling lonely because you actually are alone is far more peaceful than feeling lonely when you are surrounded by people. Embrace that loneliness! Grow through that loneliness. You will look back and realize that you bloomed in the loneliness.

I think that since I have been home, hearing my relatives recount their own memories and love stories, I have really latched onto one thought that has truly kept me going: I cannot wait to live the love story that I am going to tell my kids someday. I can’t wait! It is so beautiful and exciting knowing that love story is in my future! It is coming my way, and all I have to do is live independently and wait! Do not worry about being alone forever! That will not happen. Just focus on being patient, and, before you know it, your next adventure will begin!

How to Hit the Social Reset Button:

Three Girls Chatting

This week focuses all on the social aspect of health and independence. For me, a huge part of my social fill each week was time with my boyfriend. Now that I am single, I need to find new outlets to fill my social meter. Additionally, there is no better way to meet my next someone than to be social and outgoing! Here are my challenges for you this week to improve your social wellness and find confidence interacting with the world as a single person! Many of them will seem self-explanatory, but take the time to be more intentional with these tips during your breakup because they are easy to neglect.

1 – Spend Time with Your People

Two girls on the hood of a jeep, talking

We maintain a close group of friends at all times for a reason! They are our support system in times of crisis and hurt. I know that I could not have gone through this breakup without my best friend. We have our one night a week that we hang out together, and those nights really helped me! Invest a little extra time in the friends you have, because you now have more time to give! You will feel much better making memories with friends than you would sitting alone and missing your ex best friend.

Plan at least one weekly or bimonthly tradition with friends this week; that is my challenge to you!

2 – Visit Your Family

My dad and I on a sushi date
Me and My Dad at Sushi and Drinks!

If you have the means, taking a trip to visit family can give you some serious perspective. Whenever I go home, it helps me to discern what I want in a person and reminds me that I have everything I need to live a great and happy life on my own. My parents are successful, hard-working individuals. Spending time with them reminds me that I am out here searching for someone as hard working, smart, and driven as they are. I want to have enough money as an adult to travel the world, buy a beautiful home for my family, send my kids to every camp, tournament, or college they could want to go to, and afford any medical treatment anyone in my family could require. I need to be with someone that shares that same dream. Someone who is willing to make the tough choices and put in the hard work to achieve that dream with me.

Plan a trip to see your family sometime in the next month or so, that is my challenge to you this week!

3 – Meet New People

A group of people, chatting in a park

It is important to start mingling and meeting new people. Making new friends and nurturing new relationships will both keep you busy and help you find your potential future someone. Most of the time we meet our significant other through new activities or mutual friends. Starting to weave a more complex web of acquaintances in the next few weeks will help to give you some options for new “maybes” once you reach the point that you are actually ready to date again. My best friend actually invited me to her weekly movie night with some friends from our classes, and it has kind of become a new tradition for me. I am able to mingle, fill my social meter, and just get out of my apartment! Also, conveniently, it is on the same night that my ex and I used to have our weekly date night, so filling that time is a huge relief.

Ask your current friends to invite you to meet some of their other friends to weave a more complex friend web! That is my challenge to you this week! 

Maybe you could go to barre class with a friend and meet their friends there. Maybe one of your friends goes to theology on tap every week. Maybe one of your friends has a weekly movie night with friends from work! Do not be afraid to ask your friends to help you weasel your way into new groups. That is what friends are for! Be sure to return the favor when you can!

4 – Join a Club

A group of people working on a project

Maybe your friends do not have other friends, and you are having trouble weaving a friend web. I highly suggest joining clubs or attending events that align with your interests or morals. I am thinking of potentially joining our church choir, joining pro-life club, or beginning to volunteer at the local free medical clinic. Any of these groups of people are definitely up my alley! I could find some great friends (and potential new dates) in these groups. Do not be afraid to put yourself out there as an individual!

Find one new group to interact with in the next week or two in your community. That is my challenge to you!

5 – Spend Time in Public Places

A woman working in a coffee shop

It is really easy to feel lonely in your room all alone. I am a college student, so I am constantly working for hours at a time on my homework, studying for tests, writing for the blog, or advertising for the blog. When I am in my room, and I start to feel isolated, I pack up my things, head to a coffee shop, and work there for a few hours. It makes me feel like I am interacting with my community when I am just around others. It also is an opportunity to meet new people. My coffee and tea bill has gone up, but I feel much better every day, so it is worth it! On Thursday through Saturday nights, they have a lot of live music in the coffee shops in Moscow. I really like taking a break, grabbing a coffee, and listening to the artists.

Maybe a local bar is having a DJ or band you like. Maybe there is nice enough weather where you are to go relax or study in a park. Maybe you are a bookworm like me who should hang out in the library! Maybe coffee is your jam, and you need to save a little more each month for some good local coffee.

Go spend time in a public place where you feel comfortable this week during a lonely spell. That is my challenge for you this week!

6 – Rekindle Old Friendships

A group of friends fist-bumping

I spent the majority of my free time with my ex-boyfriend. I was so invested in our relationship, and it forced me to shove many of my friends to the backburner. That is not necessarily a bad thing; when we choose a relationship over single life, that is a huge time commitment! It would be impossible to not take some time away from friends upon entering into a relationship. (Ditching all of your friends for a guy IS a bad thing; that is not what I am discussing here!) If that relationship is temporary though, you will find that you have way less people in your corner than you used to or that the dynamic of your friend group has changed since the last time you were 100% invested in it. Do not be afraid to reopen old doors! I have been spending a lot of time during my breakup with an old friend from elementary school! We have started a Star Wars marathon which has been so fun!

Call up an old friend this week! That is my challenge for you.

We have three more weeks left after this one, but enjoy this week to the fullest first! This is the hardest week in my opinion. It can be really hard to open yourself up to relationship after having been hurt by someone so close to you. I know that it is my instinct to just spend time on my own. I was in my relationship for 5 years! If I cannot trust someone who was in my life everyday for 5 years to be there for me, then is it worth it to invest a lot of time in new relationships? The answer, of course, is yes! Just giving yourself that first big push is instrumental in meeting new people and adding to your army! Soon you will crave the social interaction and meet new, more trustworthy people!

Comment down below how the past few weeks have been going for you. What challenges are you facing? Have you had any big successes? What about dating; have you started yet? I want to hear from you!


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